The Law of Gravity

I do believe I have come across a corollary for Newton's theory: Living below the equator creates a higher degree of gravity pull downwards on the body. (If this proves to be true, I’ll be checking out a location above the equator.) Makes sense, right? I’ve heard the South Pole has a dynamite magnetic force. How else could you possibly explain weight gain here? Despite regular attempts at exercise and fairly healthy eating, the old bod seems to have a stubbornness that resists shedding. I thought perhaps because the food labels here don't contain a calorie count, that perhaps they didn't. Or that when the label isn't written in English, English speakers aren’t affected by the content. Or if I couldn't convert the intake from kilograms to pounds, then kgs didn’t affect my weight gain or loss. I know it couldn’t possibly be the fact that there are tons of business and social dinners, sundowners, and parties. Something must be wrong in my logic, but I can’t figure out what. I play tennis, do pilates, work out on the elliptical machine—seemingly to no avail. Hmmm . . . maybe it’s something in the water. Hadn’t thought of that. Maybe I’m on to something here.